Do I Have Trauma?
When many people hear the word trauma, they picture extreme events - combat, natural disasters, or major accidents. And while those experiences can absolutely be traumatic, they’re not the only things that leave a lasting imprint on the nervous system. In fact, many of the people who walk through my door say things like, “I don’t think what I went through was bad enough to count as trauma.”
Here’s the truth: trauma isn’t defined by how dramatic an event looks from the outside. It’s actually about how your body and nervous system experienced something - especially when it felt overwhelming, unsafe, or unsupported.
Trauma occurs when an experience exceeds your ability to cope at the time it happens. This can be a single event, or it can develop slowly over years. Trauma often lives in the body and nervous system, not just in memory. That’s why it can show up long after the event itself has passed.
Many women experience trauma through things like:
Chronic emotional neglect or feeling unseen growing up
Relationship dynamics that felt controlling, invalidating, or unsafe
Medical trauma, including being dismissed or not believed
Body-based trauma related to shame, weight, food, or appearance’
Growing up in an environment where you had to be “the strong one”
Experiences of betrayal, boundary violations, or loss
If you notice patterns like chronic anxiety, emotional overwhelm, people-pleasing, difficulty relaxing, disconnection from your body, or feeling “on edge” even when life looks fine - trauma may be part of the picture.
Why Haven’t I Recognized My Traumatic Experiences Before?
Women, especially high-functioning or caregiving women, are often praised for being resilient, accommodating, and capable. This high-functioning appearance (which can actually be a coping response developed to survive trauma) can also make it difficult to recognize the impact of these adverse experiences. You might appear successful on the outside while feeling chronically exhausted, self-critical, disconnected from your body, or stuck in survival mode on the inside.
Hormonal transitions like perimenopause can also make trauma symptoms more noticeable. It may be harder to mask when you are struggling, and emotions might be closer to the surface than before. Changes in sleep, mood, and emotional regulation can lower the nervous system’s tolerance, bringing unresolved trauma to the surface. When that happens, it can feel confusing and unsettling - but it’s also an opportunity for healing.
How Can Trauma Resolution Therapy Help Me?
Trauma-informed counseling doesn’t ask you to relive the past or “push through” painful experiences. Approaches like EMDR therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS) work with the nervous system in a gentle, structured way to help your body process what it couldn’t before.
In trauma therapy, you can:
Understand your emotional and physical responses with compassion
Reduce anxiety, reactivity, and emotional overwhelm
Feel safer and more present in your body
Develop a kinder relationship with yourself
Break patterns that no longer serve you
Healing trauma isn’t about erasing your past. It’s about helping your nervous system learn that you are safe now.
If you’ve ever wondered whether what you experienced was “bad enough” to deserve support, that question alone is often a sign that something meaningful needs care. Therapy isn’t about labeling your experiences - it’s about helping you feel more grounded, whole, and at ease in your life.
If you’re curious about trauma therapy, EMDR, or IFS, or you’re noticing old patterns surfacing during times of stress or hormonal change, counseling can offer a supportive space to explore that - at your pace, and with compassion.