Is my Relationship with Exercise Healthy?
Sometimes it seems like there’s no such thing as unhealthy exercise. I have watched people express shame, and be almost apologetic, about not having a consistent workout routine. And on the other side of the spectrum, I’ve seen people receive praise for excessive or strict exercise regimens. But is there such a thing as too much? And is there a mindset about exercise that is more harmful than helpful? In my years working with clients struggling with eating disorders, many of whom were elite athletes and fitness competitors, I have helped lots of people explore their relationship to exercise and find their healthy middle ground. Here’s some of the wisdom my clients and I have discovered.
Exercise is great for our minds and bodies in many ways. Moving our bodies can help with digestion, flexibility, and strength. It can help us retain our physical abilities into later life, and protect us from injury. It’s also a wonderful tool for coping with big emotions and managing stress. So how can there be such a thing as unhealthy exercise?
To answer that, let’s explore our definition of “health.” Does health only include physical health, or does it also include mental health? What I’m getting at here is that healthy exercise isn’t simply about moving, it’s also about our psychological experience of that movement.
For example, I have had clients who loved to play volleyball with friends. Being outdoors and connecting with others was a joyful experience for them. But they were convinced that their volleyball games didn’t count as exercise because they didn’t involve a gym. They discounted the movement they enjoyed because it didn’t fit their arbitrary rules about what “real exercise” was. But forcing themselves to lift weights in a gym or running on a treadmill felt soulless. In this case, I would argue that the exercise they thought was better wasn’t really healthier for them, because they were miserable doing it. What if you gave yourself unconditional permission to move your body in ways that felt joyful, whether that was hiking, taking a pilates class, or having a dance party in your kitchen?
Similarly, if our patterns of exercise are rigid and/or excessive, they start to take away from other important areas of our life. For example, if you think you have to workout the same days every week, for the same amount of time, in the same way, you might start to notice yourself feeling trapped in your routine. If you aren’t able to go out with friends one night because that’s the day you have to do your long run, or you miss out on a fun event or opportunity because you can’t fit it in around your work out schedule, I would gently question whether that’s really working for you. Remember-exercise should add something to your life, not take something away from it.
Let’s return to our definition of health. Does a “healthy” habit cease to become healthy when we are weak, injured, or in need of rest? If you have a broken leg, I don’t know many doctors who would recommend you go on a run. If you’re exhausted from a stressful week of work and you haven’t slept well in 3 days, is it "bad” if you skip leg day so that you can go to bed early? I propose that neither option here is inherently wrong, but the reasons that you choose one over the other might be healthy or unhealthy. If you choose to workout because you would feel shame or guilt about not doing it, that’s something to get curious about. You might be attaching too much meaning to your exercise routine, believing that it means something about your worth as a person if you adhere to it or not. In contrast, movement and even rest can simply be neutral, rather than good or bad. If we believe certain health behaviors make us “good” or “bad,” we might find ourselves engaging in them even when it’s not healthy for us.
So, what do you think? Is there such a thing as unhealthy exercise? And what do you think about your own relationship with movement? However you choose to move, I hope that it is enjoyable, flexible, and moderate.